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Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive) Empty Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive)

Post by Burgundy on Wed Jan 02, 2019 4:08 am

Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive) 2isyqu1

General Information

Name: Elliot Bloodscream
Alias: Banshee
Age: 15
Gender/Sex: Male (Androgynous)
Sexuality: Pansexual
Height: 5'0" (152.4 cm)
Weight: 108 lbs (~49 kg)


Behavioral Information

Alignment: Neutral Good Nice
Personality: Elliot is an unsurprisingly bright and cheerful individual who doesn't make any efforts to hide their general jubilation in life. He possesses a spontaneity which lends itself to a number of positive facets. He's good at thinking on his feet, and likes to get involved in things at the drop of a hat simply because it seems like fun. Many folks will find him helpful simply because 'why not?' and he's the sort of guy to try anything once.

Of course, he's neither manic nor attention deficit, rather he has a planned sort of spontaneity. Like, 'I haven't done anything fun in a day or two, let's fight some crime'. Once he's decided to do something, he easily locks in on it and aims to achieve. Very motivated.

There are undertones of a self-centered nature however. He does good because he is bored otherwise. He's on the lookout for number one, and never forgets that. Thankfully a little bit of egocentricity is part of what gives him that follow-through. He likes to call it 'professional pride', but he likes to rub his achievements in other people's faces, and one thing you can't rub in someone's face is running away from a challenge. Thusly, he is rather stubborn once he's locked in, hates being shown up, and if pressed for reasons, they're rarely altruistic.

Elliot is not a bad person though. He could never look at himself in the mirror with a smile if he felt any sort of joy from making innocent people frown. He likes to make the people smile with his cheerful demeanor and seemingly random bouts of helpfulness. It makes him happy to make others happy in a way, even if only because they're happy with him.

Likes: Strawberries, K-Pop, Video Games

Dislikes: Mint, Folk Music, Action Movies

Background
Elliot was born and raised in Ruby City. His family was relatively wealthy, and he didn't need for much, asides maybe a little more attention from his parents. Due to shuffling babysitters there was always something new to do, growing up. He did suffer a bit of bullying in middle school due to looking kinda girly and having a very villainesque surname, and even still gets a bit of flack for it to this day. His power developed quite recently, and he finds it very obnoxious. Despite such, he still seeks a means to utilize it properly and hopefully become a superhero, and make big money on the SF payroll.

Superhuman Information

Power Holder?: Yes

Screeching Physiology: His body will produce an audible sound whenever sustaining injuries, or more specifically, the individual cells that make up his body can experience discomfort whenever displaced or stressed sufficiently and will make microscopic shrieks that compound into an incessant noise, up to the level of somebody screaming at the top of their lungs. Due to the sheer number of cells involved in an injury, maximum volume is easily achieved from single injuries (besides the exceptionally superficial), capping at a dissonant Level 5 Sonic shriek.

Screams can last for up to a post before the cells die, though fresh or worsened injuries will refresh this duration. He is not in control of the screams, they just happen every time he gets hurt, or his cells feel sufficient discomfort, nor is he yet used to their obnoxious sound.


Last edited by Burgundy on Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive) Empty Re: Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive)

Post by V.Carnage on Wed Jan 02, 2019 7:21 pm

Okay, so background and personality checks out fine.  I see you're missing the "Nice/Neutral/Mean" descriptor in the Alignment so if you can add that, it would be great.

Power Breakdown:

Pros:
Sonic Attack (Major)
Does not depend on mouth or vocal cords (Major)

Cons:
Requires injury to activate (Major)
Not immune to own effects (Major)

While officially it seems balanced there are a few things that need clarifying.  First of all, it seems inconsistent that a few drops of blood equates to the maximum volume (making people cover their ears/loud shout) while you say that power increases based on the injury.  Unless I misunderstood, and in that case it needs clarification.  
Second is duration.  It mentions that the screems last one post or however long the injury is sustained.  However, injuries do not heal right away, so this would entail that they just last the entire time, for days or weeks until it is healed.  For something like this, you should probably cut the extended duration.  This would allow a time to be consistent (and still scales per level, unless you specify you don't want the duration to increase per level) and you still get more screams if the injury is worsened or a new injury is applied.  
Finally, in compliance with Part 5 Rules, you must specify the level at which the sonic caps out at.  In a case like yours where power scales with injury, we would say that at a certain level of injury which would be considered the maximum required for the maximum effect, the power gives off Level X sonic power.  As would be typical of a basic ability and based partially on your description, it would seem your ability can reach up to Level 5 Sonics.  Of course, you can always make it start less powerful, but just make sure you specify that.  

Once you have made the necessary edits, just post a reply saying you did so and I'll get to the next stage of grading.
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Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive) Empty Re: Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive)

Post by Burgundy on Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:16 pm

I consolidated it as you specified, so as to be less vague and more absolute. The only further clarification that I could foresee as potentially necessary is 'exceptionally superficial' injuries, which would simply be papercuts, pinpricks, broken nails, and such.

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Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive) Empty Re: Elliot Bloodscream (Inactive)

Post by V.Carnage on Wed Jan 02, 2019 11:04 pm

Alright, everything checks out.

Approved
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