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Abel/Cain Genesis  Empty Abel/Cain Genesis

Post by Abel/Cain on Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:54 pm

Abel/Cain Genesis  Dr__jekyll_and_mr__hyde_by_onigirifreak-d7ig8md

General Information

Name: Abel/Cain Genesis
Alias: Jekyll and Hyde
Age: 16
Gender/Sex: male
Sexuality: bisexual
Height: 5’6”/167.64 cm
Weight: 148 lbs/67 kg


Behavioral Information

Alignment: Good/Neutral/Neutral
Personality: Abel is a timid young man who doesn't like confrontation. He hates violence and tries to avoid it for one simple reason: most people don’t know about his split personality, Cain. Cain is the opposite of Abel. He oozes confidence, loves violence, and is very good at hurting people in different ways. This causes Abel to try and warn people whenever they try to start a fight with him as Cain will come out if provoked.

Likes: Abel: Books, Quiet, studying
Cain: Violence, gore, fighting.

Dislikes: Abel:Violence, gore, fighting
Cain: Boredom, Weak opponents, drugs

Background
Abel and Cain have had each other for as long as they could remember, and for as long as they could remember they protected each other. Neither one of them remember who the primary personality was, but in their mind they could not live without each other. Abel and Cain were born in Austin, Texas and lived there most of their lives until their power was discovered, and they were put into the SAFE program. Cain was the brawn, protecting Abel from bullies at a young age and making sure harm never came to their body. Abel was the brain, making sure Cain knew different ways to fight off attackers. One day however they discovered their power. Whenever they are under physical harm Cain takes control, and he gets more powerful. Shortly after he was discovered, he moved to the city where they would learn more about their power.

Superhuman Information

Power Holder?: Yes

Transformation: Abel has the ability to change his body when Cain takes control. When transformed Cain gets covered in a jet black aura, his eyes turn yellow, and he grows a smile that is cheek to cheek. While in this form he has been described as acting more like a beast than a man; charging on all fours at his enemies. He gets a boost of strength as well while in this state which makes him capable of lifting up 250 lbs. This transformation can only occur whenever Abel experiences extreme amounts of physical pain, at which point Cain automatically takes control and transforms. As such something like a paper cut or a sprained ankle will not activate the power, but receiving multiple full force punches or kicks or getting stabbed will. Abel can still hand over control willingly to Cain at any time, but the only change that occurs is their eye color.










Last edited by Abel/Cain on Thu Jan 31, 2019 10:25 am; edited 8 times in total

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Abel/Cain Genesis  Empty Re: Abel/Cain Genesis

Post by V.Carnage on Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:13 pm

A split personality guy this time.  Alright, so personality and background don't have any logistical issues, however I will require that you fix all your grammatical issues throughout this post.  It shall not be approved until it does.  

Power Breakdown

Pros:
Sharp Teeth (Minor)
Claws (??)
Super Strength (Major?)
Black Aura (aesthetic freebie)

Cons:
None

Well the glaring issue here is that there are no cons.  If you weren't aware, basic powers must completely balance out their pros and cons.  Therefore, this is unacceptable.  Additionally, you don't include any logistics.  Teeth are easy enough to assume for as the only thing seems to be that they get sharp and are no tougher than regular teeth.  Claws are completely different.  Are they the strength of finger nails?  Tiger claws?  Steel?  And how long are they? These will all effect the weight of the pro.  As well, I'll need a lift capacity on the super strength.  Basic super strength is 250 lbs, however you are taking that on top of other things which makes me very iffy.  At best, I'd either save that for an upgrade, halve the value, and/or give me some good cons to convince me it's okay to give you all of this at base.  On that note, like I mentioned, this power needs detriments.
 
Once you have these issues resolved, respond and I'll recommence grading.
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Post by Abel/Cain on Sun Jan 27, 2019 11:31 pm

okay anything I missed or screwed up

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Abel/Cain Genesis  Empty Re: Abel/Cain Genesis

Post by V.Carnage on Mon Jan 28, 2019 12:10 am

Okay, first thing, do not write "Power Breakdown" in your post. That is a Judgement tool for Moderators, not a proper way to describe your power. Next, "getting carried away in fights" is not a con of his power. That is a personality quirk and does not factor into the power grading. Also, your mention that Cain is not smart and Abel is not strong for a detriment is contradicted by your statement that they help each other by Abel being the brains and Cain being the brawn, in a way suggesting that they work together. Also, saying "someone who knows martial arts could beat him" is not a con, its a given. Also, requiring a physical or mental threat to activate is rather vague, so if you want to use that I'll need more elaboration. So, current rendition,

Power Breakdown

Pros:
Super Strength, 125 lbs (Minor)
Sharp Teeth (Minor)
Aesthetic Black Aura (Freebie)

Cons:
???

Additionally, the grammatical issues still make it difficult to read. If you need assistance with that, say so.
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Post by Abel/Cain on Mon Jan 28, 2019 12:20 am

I would like help with grammar thank you

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Post by V.Carnage on Wed Jan 30, 2019 3:54 am

Personality: Abel is a timid young man who doesn't like confrontation. He hates violence and tries to avoid it for one simple reason: most people don’t know about his split personality, Cain. Cain is the opposite of Abel. He oozes confidence, loves violence, and is very good at hurting people in different ways. This causes Abel to try and warn people whenever they try to start a fight with him as Cain will come out if provoked.

For Likes and Dislikes, just add spaces between your punctuation and the next word.  

Background
Abel and Cain have had each other for as long as they could remember, and for as long as they could remember they protected each other. Neither one of them remember who the primary personality was, but in their mind they could not live without each other. Abel and Cain were born in Austin, Texas and lived there most of their lives until their power was discovered, and they were put into the SAFE program. Cain was the brawn, protecting Abel from bullies at a young age and making sure harm never came to their body. Abel was the brain, making sure Cain knew different ways to fight off attackers. One day however they discovered their power. Whenever they are under physical, or sometimes mental, harm Cain takes control, and he gets more powerful. [Shortly after he was discovered and moved to the city where they learn more about there power.] (This last sentence is very confusing.  Maybe either "Shortly after he was discovered, he moved to the city where they would learn more about their power." or "Shortly after he was discovered and had moved to the city, they began to learn more about their power." depending on what you are going for.)

We will work on the grammatical issues in the power once it's balanced.  
Power Breakdown is the exact same as last time.  If you intend to have how you describe "physical or mental distress" as the only trigger for his power, you need to be more specific.  That is way too general.  That means he is able to transform if he gets frustrated with a math problem.  Maybe instead do something like only if he gets physically hurt, as a suggestion.  As it is, it does not count as a con.  Then, for using all their energy and passing out, you haven't set a limitation for it.  There is no concrete stop for you.  Theoretically you could make him go like that forever so long as you say "he hasn't run out of energy yet".  If you wanted to do something like that you need to do something like specify how many posts he can stay in that form.  That way we have something concrete to judge.
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Post by Abel/Cain on Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:22 pm

I think I fixed it

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Post by V.Carnage on Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:51 pm

Most of the gramatical issues in the main portion have been fixed except when you copy/pasted you forgot to delete the "Personality:" thing I had.

As for power, I noticed you turned the strength back up to 250 lbs so it becomes a major pro. As for your cons, I still don't know what "in danger physically" is. I need something concrete. In the last sentence you seem to be, but maybe not, implying that this is a separate weakness from the one I already pointed out, when it is in fact the same. I assume you are meaning that he cannot decide to transform (and thus get teeth or super strength) at will. As such, I see one ill defined con here versus your 1.5 Major Pro power.
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Post by Abel/Cain on Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:44 pm

Okay I defined the con better

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Abel/Cain Genesis  Empty Re: Abel/Cain Genesis

Post by V.Carnage on Thu Jan 31, 2019 12:26 am

Power Breakdown

Pros:
Super Strength, 250 lbs (Major)
Sharp Teeth (Minor)

Cons:
Requires large amounts of pain to activate (3 Minor, tentative)

Now, if things go this way then you are looking balanced, however i want to clarify some things. I don't really like your descriptor of "getting ganged up on" as that technically doesn't directly imply any pain or injury. Something like 'multiple full force punches or kicks' would suffice. If that is indeed what you are going for then it should be worth the three Minor Cons. As well, I'd also like to note that your aesthetic features not mentioned in the power breakdown have no effect other than to look cool. His yellow eyes do not make his vision better or worse. His large smile does not let him open his mouth any wider. His black aura is thin and in no way, shape, or form obstructs vision or any other sense to any degree. If this aura happens to be in line of sight between a person and what they are trying to look at, they can see the object as well as if the aura wasn't there, but they just notice the aura happens to be there. Similar to looking through a window.

Finally, I'll get through the grammatical errors in the power and we should be set:
Transformation: Abel has the ability to change his body when Cain takes control. When transformed Cain gets covered in a jet black aura, his eyes turn yellow, and he grows a smile that is cheek to cheek. While in this form he has been described as acting more like a beast than a man; charging on all fours at his enemies. He gets a boost of strength as well while in this state which makes him capable of lifting up 250 lbs. This transformation can only occur whenever Abel experiences extreme amounts of physical pain, at which point Cain automatically takes control and transforms. As such something like a paper cut or a sprained ankle will not activate the power, but receiving multiple full force punched or kicks or getting stabbed will. Abel can still hand over control willingly to Cain at any time, but the only change that occurs is their eye color.

Respond when everything is settled and we can get them approved.
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Abel/Cain Genesis  Empty Re: Abel/Cain Genesis

Post by Abel/Cain on Thu Jan 31, 2019 10:26 am

I think I got it

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Post by V.Carnage on Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:21 pm

Alright, now that this is sorted out,

Approved

EDIT: I also need to clarify that because his Con is worth more than a single Major, that it will take two points to completely buy off. 1 point to reduce the pain threshold, and another to remove the need for pain.
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