Grading Request: Blood for Blood

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Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by JollyLabyrinth on Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:15 am

Thread to be graded: http://evolutioncity.forumotion.com/post?f=7&mode=newtopic

People who wish to be graded:
Charon
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by V.Carnage on Tue Aug 30, 2016 3:48 am

So Charon is applying for his fifth point.  Lets jump right into this.  Above average length.  A continuation to the story arc.  Battles with multiple supers.  Charon uses a higher level of his power than he normally performs.  And finally we have some quite brutal interrogations.  Alright, so I'm going to mention up front that this is a special case, so lets get into some details.  

So Charon was able to fight a couple new types of foes and has gained fighting experience as a result.  My only issue here is I rarely ever felt the struggle.  The extras or grunts and even the jester, while they are supposed to be weaker, just felt like a slaughter with no stress or tension involved.  The mental battle with the first super I felt could have had much more psychological stress and mental conflict than was portrayed.  It seemed to just happen and Charon was confident and it was resolved quickly without internal conflict which could lead to development.  The Pyro fight was a bit more what I was expecting, if a bit short.  There was more of a struggle, but the short duration left an impression that the challenge wasn't quite as high.  There was also a couple unrealistic things at times and some spelling errors, but I realize you were working on your phone for the most part so I will not take off for that.  

Alright, so I'm gonna say, this thread had all the right elements and parts.  The biggest issue I have with it is the execution.  Now, since you didn't have much to work with in terms of knowing what you needed, I haven't really explained what I'm looking for, and a couple other things, I'm gonna cut you a deal.  I shall give you the point now, under a couple conditions.  First, for our planned thread, you will not be eligible to gain a new point, however, depending how well it goes, you may still make progress.  Second, you spend your point on a combat based ability like we discussed, which I believe you were already planning anyway.  As it turns out, there were a couple times in the thread that made me think gaining a combat ability from this was very fitting.  Third, Charon will gain the ability gained from this point in the middle of the planned thread, and so, any threads started before the end of the planned one will not have access to Charon's new power.  

So if you agree to this, just say so, and you may submit your requested upgrade.  Just so you know, this is as much a test for you as it is for me.  I also intend to use the planned thread to give another taste of what I expect from people to gain points at this level.  If you have any questions or complaints or even think something I said was unfair, feel free to discuss it with me in PM, as like I said, this is also testing grounds for me.
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by Charon on Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:42 am

No issues or complaints here, I think that's totally fair. I'll submit an upgrade later today.
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by Charon on Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:58 am

Nightmare Blast: Charon focuses his power on a single opponent. He lifts his arm and fires his fear energy at the enemy. To the enemy they are able to see a screaming skull moving towards them while covered in black smoke. Upon contact the enemy feels a blast of knock back combined with a sickening feeling in their stomach that lasts for two posts. This feeling causes them to enter into a physically weaker state as the enemy feels on the verge of puking. Anyone besides the enemy is unable to see the skull. The blast can knock a 200-pound man off of his feet. Charon must wait two posts after using the ability in order for the move to be used again.


Last edited by Charon on Wed Aug 31, 2016 1:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by Charon on Tue Aug 30, 2016 2:43 pm

Note: Submitted


Last edited by Charon on Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

Post by V.Carnage on Wed Aug 31, 2016 1:16 am

I like the little additions you made since our discussion. Its seems very fitting. Approved! Go ahead and move it to your plotter.
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Re: Grading Request: Blood for Blood

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