Grading Request: Feast or Mammon

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Grading Request: Feast or Mammon

Post by JollyLabyrinth on Wed Aug 24, 2016 7:41 pm

Thread to be graded: http://evolutioncity.forumotion.com/t128-feast-or-mammon

People who wish to be graded:
Sam Guivine
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Re: Grading Request: Feast or Mammon

Post by V.Carnage on Sat Aug 27, 2016 1:01 am

Ready to try for a fifth point? Let’s take a look and find out.  Before anything, that was a fantastically chilling ending.  Unfortunately though, as it was Charon's writing, I can't give you credit.  So the premise was a drug raid gone horribly wrong.  Seems good there, as failures do happen, and having dire consequences does give a boost.  Thread was a bit above average length, so it's pretty solid.  Sam had a nice display of his powers, showing them off and performing strong feats, yet not actually breaking his current limits (which is a good thing to not break character).  Killed some cannon fodder with a variety of methods at his disposal and fighting off another super.  Feeling the injuries that resulted from Sam’s reckless actions and continuing to use that throughout the thread is nice too.  At one point, however, both people involved in the thread lost track of how many people were at the stairs, leaving two grunts that were never mentioned again.  This is mostly a small point but it will still count against you for consistency purposes.  Another point I want to make note of is towards the end, I believe there are two guns, a shotgun and a pistol.  However, the term "gun" was all that was used so I couldn't keep track of which gun until Sam's post that it was the pistol.  As this may just be a personal thing, it shall not count against you, but it is something to make note of to make sure things are clear.  So for the final verdict, I hereby decree:

Sam: Point

Okay, here’s the deal.  I’m giving you the point, but you just barely scrape by thanks to stress value.  Most of the action consisted of basically Sam squashing some ants that had a nasty bite.  And the fight with the other super was just him dodging you, and then punching you in the face.  However, great deals of stress can cause a power to evolve.  That is why you are getting the point now, as I would guess this would take quite a toll on Sam.  This is, of course, along with the quality of the story of the thread.  So congratulations on point number five!  Don’t forget to spend your point here and to wait for approval before moving it to your plotter.
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Re: Grading Request: Feast or Mammon

Post by JollyLabyrinth on Sat Aug 27, 2016 7:23 pm

I understand that I'll need to work significantly harder to fight stronger enemies in the future to earn more points, and will try to ensure that I'm not just squashing ants in the future.

Point: Heartbeat detection: Sam's meditation allows him to detect the heartbeats of nearby living creatures, making it difficult for anything with a beating heart to sneak up on him.
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Re: Grading Request: Feast or Mammon

Post by V.Carnage on Sat Aug 27, 2016 8:02 pm

Approved, however if you can tell their location from this method, I would recommend specifying that in your plotter.
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