Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

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Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

Post by JollyLabyrinth on Mon Aug 15, 2016 1:35 am

Thread to be graded: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup! (http://evolutioncity.forumotion.com/t111-waiter-there-s-a-fly-in-my-soup)

People who wish to be graded:
Sam Guivine
The Hive
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JollyLabyrinth

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Re: Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

Post by V.Carnage on Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:54 pm

Pretty good length, just above average.  Has a bit of fighting which does involve powers, as well as a social half.  Sam is going for point number four and Hive is going for number three.  Don't forget to read my other notes, but the short version is;

Sam Guivine: No Point
The Hive: Point

So, to explain myself.  First before moving on to specific people, this one is actually a note for both of you.  It was one small detail but I feel I should address it.  Sam said he broke Hive's nose, but Hive said nothing was broken.  If there is some sort of disagreement or discrepancy make sure to address that and figure it out.  Inconsistencies like this will only hurt both parties moving forward.  

So first, let's talk Sam.  Anything from your fourth point onward is going to be more difficult to obtain.  In this thread Sam did what he has before in that he beat someone up, and not a canonically good brawler at that.  Nothing really went above and beyond for him in terms of combat aside from maybe utilizing his power to make blood spikes.  Despite this, the writing was still good but the content was not worthy of a point at this level.

Now for Hive, you may have gotten the point but I still have a few notes here.  Hive got a point for fighting someone of a much higher strength level than him, so despite his loss he still gained something.  This one isn't really major since nothing actually happened with it, but just something to keep in mind and could lead to inconsistencies in the future.  You mentioned towards the end of the fight that there was enough biting/stinging from your bugs to kill ten men.  However, at this point none of Hive's bugs are poisonous to a grown human aside from allergic reactions.  The most they could do is cause pain at this point until they are upgraded further.  Also note that this was close to minimum of what you needed to get the point besides fighting a tough opponent.  Therefore, I will be expecting more for points from this point onward.
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Re: Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

Post by The Hive on Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:34 am

I'm going to spend my point on:

Honey Pot(Double Capacity)
Increases the production of Honey within George's body again, sustaining George and all the insects in his body without the need to eat so long as his honeybees can do their thing, and allows him to excrete the excess honey out of his skin to feed his bugs as they rest on him. As the power was spent on bugs the total number of bugs doubles.

As for your concerns-
1. I decided when and where and how my character is injured, when and if and how he takes a hit. I ignored an auto-hit and auto-injury. That's just the way the game is played.
2. Even a healthy adult person whose not allergic to bees and wasps can die of anaphylactic shock if they're stung enough. And George has enough sting.
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Re: Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

Post by V.Carnage on Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:17 pm

In response to your reply-
1.  I understand that there was an issue with "auto-injury" with that and that you felt the right to ignore it.  I am not saying you didn't have the right, only that the proper choice of action was addressing it outside the thread.  I am not pointing this at you, it was a note for both of you to discuss such issues and resolve them in the future.  My main goal here is to help make a fluid and consistent story.
2.  If we are going by real world logic and facts, then it takes many more stings from bees or wasps to kill even one person.  Many more than you have at your disposal.  For even one person it takes about a thousand stings to kill them, let alone ten.  This point is merely to keep things within their boundaries and not let them overextend for anyone.  Either way, you still got the point.

So for you upgrade request, it is approved.  If you have any further comments, questions, or complaints please feel free to PM either Admin or myself.
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Re: Grading Request: Waiter! There's a Fly in My Soup!

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